Roy Clark and his father sat in the family car in the funeral home parking lot for several minutes. As a teenager, he wasn’t sure how to respond when his dad put his head in his hands and moaned, "I don’t know what to say!"

A friend from their church had been in a car accident. She had survived, but her three daughters had all died when a truck hit their vehicle. What could they say to their friend at a time like this?

In the Bible we are told that during Job’s time of grieving, his three friends came to mourn with him and to comfort him. For the first 7 days they sat and wept with him because he was in deep sorrow (Job 2:11-13). "No one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great" (v.13). Their presence alone was a comfort to him.

But then they began to lecture. They told Job he must have sinned and that God was punishing him (4:7-9).

When Job was finally able to respond, he told his friends what he needed from them. He asked for reasons to continue hoping (6:11), for kindness (v.14), and for words that did not presume guilt (vv.29-30).

Remembering the story of Job and his friends may help us when we don’t know what to say.  — Anne Cetas