In a book called The Second Shift, Arlie Hochschild describes how working couples share home responsibilities. Husbands and wives who both have careers generally agree that it is only fair for them to divide household chores. Yet studies show that men tend to do less than their share.

Why? One possible reason is that a husband today compares his efforts to how much his father did around the house. But a working wife today is looking for more than that. As a result, roles become a source of conflict. Hochschild, however, directs us to a deeper issue. She writes, "When two-career families struggle, it is seldom simply over who does what. Far more often it is over the giving and receiving of gratitude. . . . In my interviews, a surprising number of women spoke of their fathers helping their mothers 'out of love' or consideration. . . . But not one man . . . made this link between help at home and love."

There's an important insight here. Good relationships are built not only on what is done but why. This is true of marriage, but it is even more important in our relationship with God. Love grows not only by what we do but also by our reason for doing it (Colossians 3:23). The Lord wants us to do what is right, and to do so out of love for Him.  —MRD II  — Mart De Haan